It’s hard to sleep these days.

She opens her eyes to the bright sun, and the wave of anxiety washes over her. Although she’s only the young age of 10, she is already helping to take care of her two younger brothers. She is the oldest, with matted curly black hair, and beautiful hazel eyes, her skin the color of ivory. Her curls could be so beautiful, bouncing, shining in the sun, if someone were around to brush her hair after bath time. But no one comes. No one ever comes. Her hair hasn’t seen her brush in over a week.

It’s hard to sleep these days.

This morning she was late to school, she had to make sure her little brothers, twin 3-year-old boys, were dropped off down the street at the neighbor’s house; a run-down town house, with boarded up windows, and no air conditioning. The house is stifling in the July heat, making it nearly impossible to breathe. But the neighbor seems friendly enough and doesn’t charge much. She pushes them along in an old Walmart cart that she found on the side of the road. There is no money for a stroller. She wishes someone would notice how her little body is burning with each step she takes, how her muscles ache pushing along two squealing little tornados.  They bounce around, their dark hair sticking to them from sweating. How she longs for someone to notice her, to notice that she is the grown up of the family, trapped in the body of a child. Her stomach growls and a wave of nausea overcomes her. She looks around. No one is coming.

It’s hard to sleep these days.

She arrives to school, late but present, and misses the free breakfast the school offers. She trudges toward her classroom. A few minutes later, she falls asleep in class, and is immediately awakened by a screaming teacher. “This is not a bed, pick your head up. Now turn to page 37”. She is dazed and confused as she struggles to get up.  She longs to continue sleeping as the sudden reality of waking up punches her in the gut. Page 37? She doesn’t even have a book. No one bought her any school supplies. She turns to share her friend’s book, her safe haven, her crutch. The one friend she can count on. But even her friend can’t stop her from the deep worry she feels seeping into her bones – the worry about how she will feed her brothers when she gets home.

It’s hard to sleep these days.

She breathes a sigh of relief when it is time for lunch. Her school provides free lunch to students. She grabs her brown tray, with a healthy balance of foods, and scans the cafeteria for her best friend. Together they enjoy lunch. Her friend doesn’t notice when she slips most of her items into her bookbag, thinking ahead for how she will feed her brothers this evening. She returns to pick up her baby brothers after school, only to find them alone. She frantically looks around, but there are no grown ups, there is no help. Their pull-ups have not been changed all day. Their clothing is raggedy and stained, their whining and screaming is like nails on a chalkboard, getting under her skin. She is exhausted, but she hoists them into the cart, and off they go.

It’s hard to sleep these days.

She knows her siblings haven’t eaten all day. She can tell by their cry, it’s different from when they are angry or when they are whining for her to play with them. This hunger cry is a cry from their souls, a cry for nourishment and love. Once she is home, she finds her mother asleep on the couch, oblivious to where her children are, or what they were doing all day. Oblivious that there is no food in the home, and her beautiful children are literally starving. She kisses her mama on her cheek, and opens the old, crooked pantry door. “Not much to choose from” she whispers to herself, as she stares at the empty shelves. Ramen, or dry cereal… she chooses ramen. She fills the bowl with water and the last ramen packet before tossing it in the microwave to cook. She is so hungry, she can’t focus, can’t think, can’t move. She is dizzy, and her brothers are calling her to play. The microwave is taking an eternity in her mind, but finally it beeps and her dinner is ready. She meticulously splits the ramen onto 3 plates and serves her siblings, adding the food from her lunch onto their plates as part of their meal. She begins to eat, letting the steam hit her face, the smell of the seasoning overwhelming her. She slowly eats her food, savoring every bite. A few minutes goes by, and her brothers have scarfed down their portions, and look to her longingly, “please sissy, I’m hungry”. Her stomach still rumbling. She wants to keep her food for herself. It is a precious commodity. But she splits her remaining food between the two, selflessly giving her last bites to them, and cleans up the dishes.

She lays down for bed. Her stomach is still aching from hunger.

It’s hard to sleep these days.

She wakes up to a banging on the door. Startled, she sits up quickly, looking over for her siblings who share a bed with her. When her eyes find them, snoozing in an adorable toddler slumber, her body visibly relaxes, and she swings her feet over the side of her bed and hops down the stairs to open her door. Glancing around, she notices her mama is gone. She opens the heavy door, and from her perspective, she stands toe-to-toe with a very tall policeman, and a social worker.

This was the day she entered foster care.

This was the day she was separated from her brothers, the only thing she cared about.

This was the day she was taken from her mama.

This was the day, everything changed.

It is hard to sleep these days.

According to the Administration for Children and Families, in 2020 there were an estimated 407,000 children residing in foster care, with 117,000 children waiting to be adopted (1). Neglect is the leading cause for children entering the foster care system, accounting for about 36.9% of the foster care population (2). The term “Neglect” includes physical neglect (which includes nutritional neglect) medical neglect, inadequate supervision, environmental neglect, educational neglect, or emotional neglect.

Children who reside in food insecure homes have limited access to affordable, healthy, culturally appropriate foods, which can impact the children well into adulthood (3). Long term impacts into adulthood for children in foster care who have experienced nutritional neglect can include but are not limited to obesity, type-2 diabetes, heart disease, and long-term mental health challenges such as eating disorders. This is concerning for not only the individual, but for the communities at large experiencing widespread food insecurity.

Preventative services are the key to decreasing the number of children entering foster care. Thankfully, there are a growing number of non-profit organizations dedicated to decreasing the number of children who experience food insecurity. There are many ways to get involved! Organize a food drive, volunteer at your local food bank, teach those around you how to decrease their food waste, or partner with organizations such as F4, to make a difference in the lives of those who are struggling to feed their children.

If you would like to learn more about how to get involved in helping children in foster care, please visit www.AdoptUSKids.org. “AdoptUSKids educates families about foster care and adoption and gives child welfare professionals information and support to help them improve their services. We also maintain the nation’s only federally funded photolisting service that connects waiting children with families” (4). Additionally, you can visit www.childrenschoice.org . Children’s Choice is a non-profit foster care, adoption, and kinship agency providing foster and adoptive services in NJ, PA, DE, and MD (5).

Article Written By Kristen Ames

References:

1. National Data Shows Number of Children in Foster Care Decreases for the Third Consecutive Year | The Administration for Children and Families (hhs.gov)
2. Child Neglect: A Guide for Prevention, Assessment, and Intervention (childwelfare.gov)
3. Five Things You Should Know About Food Access | Broken Bread | Food & Discovery | KCET
4. https://adoptuskids.org
5. https://www.childrenschoice.org

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